I always say I’m God’s five-year-old! My personality spirituality is very different than my personality physically. I am akin to that of a Golden Retriever or Squirrel. What else? Dolphin? Timon the meerkat? An octopus, maybe?
The point is that I’m always up to something, retrieving a bird, scavenging a nut, using my eight tentacles, and bobbing in and out of the water. It’s quite an active life!
In person, I am more of a calm person, soft-spoken person, and introverted. But in the Spirit?
I’m a giant slayer! Like David, I have seen the Lord do great things through me spiritually, and he has slain many a Goliath in my life and that of others.
Despite this, there are still seasons or moments of silence, which can be very disorienting for someone used to the Presence.
In response, I immediately rotate a list in my mind and asked myself, “What have I done wrong? What sin have I committed?” I also ask God these questions, and in these moments, I hear nothing.
Am I doing it right? Is this what you want of me?
Nothing.
“What shall I do next?”
Crickets!
I have often wondered why this is the case. I trust God, of course, but I wonder what the reason behind his silence is. I know to Draw Near to God….Rinse and Repeat, but sometimes that doesn’t initiate the conversation again.
If you have also wondered this before, here’s an answer: it’s because I’m taking a test, and you and God need to be silent. This is beautifully illustrated by Pastor Vlad Savchuk here:
Perhaps because we are very social creatures, we consider silence as an absence, as something being wrong or missing. But God uses everything in his Kingdom on Earth, including silence:
The Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him.
Habakkuk 2:20 (NIV)
Clearly, there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Sometimes, that season is one of silence, and it is because God is testing you.
Maybe you have had many seasons of silence that you then have come out of and thought, “Ohh, that’s what it was about!” And in hindsight, you see why you went through it and the fruit that came from it.
God’s will and his voice are both a mystery and also very apparent. As the late Tim Keller once said in his sermon Your Plans: God’s Plans, “God’s guidance is more something God does than God gives.”
Lastly, I came across this quote that perfectly summarizes the dance of our walk with God:
“Obedience that is not voluntary is disobedience, for the Lord looks at the heart, and if He sees that we serve Him from force, and not because we love Him, He will reject our offering.”
Jan 9, Morning and Evening, Charles Spurgeon