The Holy Spirit asked me a question that took me aback. I was not prepared to answer it. And that’s how I know I did not imagine it. The question was:
What is it that you would ask for if you knew God would do it?
Wow!
Well, I took a moment and realized I had no immediate response despite being in the middle of a complaint session with God. That was interesting; it’s like a little boy following his mother around the house saying, “Mom!…..Mom!…..Mom!……MOM!” and then the mother turning around and saying, “What do you want?” and the child being stunned that he got the attention of the parent and now he is being pursued with a question.
No response for a minute from me. Then I thought about the question, and of course, I had an answer; how could I not?
Then, I thought some more. It has to be a good one! All my hopes and dreams have to be summed up in this one ask. So I started sifting through all my problems in my mind to choose one. Then I realized, well that one, while important, it’s not important enough for the one ask. What I came up with was largely more abstract than anything. My ask, as a third culture kid, was to one day feel settled and have a home.
This surprised me because if someone had asked me for my prayer request in a small group or at church, this would not have crossed my mind. But as the Holy Spirit, is want to do, he cuts to the heart of the issue. What were my complaints really seeking? What’s the ask behind the ask? Anxiety? About what? He is so kind and gentle and leads us into all truth, even our own.
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.
John 16:13
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
Romans 8:26
I still do not know if that is really my final answer. But it was revealing of the truth that lay submerged within my one-sided dialogue, masquerading as prayer. Just like the child after the mother, what is really being sought is the mother, not anything else. When asked what you want, how many of us can sum it up in one answer? The question reveals that what is really sought is a promise from the Father. Can he really answer our prayers? Is this a promise? If he could do anything for you right now, what would you ask?
It reveals that we walk in unbelief, not asking for what we really want but asking for small things. Or, like some instances in the Bible, we ask for what we really want but are not sure that Jesus will deliver:
A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!”Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.
Matthew 8:2-3
“But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
“ ‘If you can’?”said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
Mark 9:22-24
I love that Jesus was like, “If?” This word does not exist in the Kingdom. He either is or isn’t God. He either will or will not heal you. He either will or will not protect you. He either will or will not provide.
What do you believe?
That’s an interesting question, God, let me think on that.
Dear Jesus,
Help me overcome my unbelief.
Amen.